Adrien and the Big Bad Words
by quicksilversquared
Summary: It's bad to swear, five-year-old Adrien knows that. And so when he gets together with other kids and one swears, he has to tell an adult, right? Right?


Adrien giggled as he ran around with the other kids around his age. He didn't know many of them well- they were the kids of his parents' friends- but since he had a nanny instead of going to daycare and was going to be homeschooled once fall came around, it meant that he didn't normally hang out with other kids besides Chloe and he was happy whenever he _did_ get the chance. The older ones he didn't like as much- Adrien was pretty sure they had said they were seven and therefore _too old to play with little babies_ (he didn't know what they were talking about- the only babies were over with their parents in the next room), and they kept making mean jokes about people they went to school with. The others were nice, though, and Adrien hoped that maybe there would be more of these get-togethers in the future.

"Let's play hide and seek! It'll be fun!" a girl around Adrien's age announced, bouncing up and down on her toes. She pointed at Walter, one of the seven-year-olds. "Walter, you count!"

Instead of counting, Walter scowled and let out a long stream of bad words. Adrien's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

Those were _really bad words_ , the kind of words that, if he ever said them, would put Adrien in time-out for a day- no, a week! And all of those words together, all at once?

If Adrien had said that, he would be in time-out for a _bajillion years_.

Walter added a few more choice words as all of the younger kids gaped at him, and then he and his friend stomped away from the rest of the group, muttering something about immature babies and their games. The other kids started muttering among themselves, but Adrien knew what he had to do.

Leaving the group, Adrien ran as best he could with his short, pudgy legs towards the room where all of their parents were chatting and eating yucky grown-up sandwiches. He tripped a few times as his feet got in the way of each other, but it didn't slow him down much as he tumbled into the adults' room.

"Mama!" Adrien announced, trotting over to his mother and tugging at her arm. "Mama, Walter said-"

And then he repeated _exactly_ what the older boy had said.

* * *

Emilie Agreste had been having a fairly good day, all things considered. For the first time in _years_ , all of her friends managed to come to their scheduled get-together. Normally at least one or two would be busy and unable to come, either because of work or because of a sick child. She had had to miss the last two get-togethers herself, the first because of an international trip with Gabriel to a runway show in New York and the second because Adrien had been sick and throwing up after catching a fever.

This time, though, they were all together again, and Carlotta was making everyone laugh as she told stories about her recent trip through Italy. She had brought both of her kids along, and apparently they had been less than impressed with the international travel.

"The car rides were the worse," Carlotta complained as the whole group nodded in sympathy. They all had been there before, with squirmy kids that didn't exactly appreciate being cooped up in the car for a ride across town, never mind a several-hour drive. Emilie and Gabriel had gotten lucky with Adrien; while he could be high-energy, running all over the house and tripping over furniture, rugs, and his own feet alike, he was also _very_ good at sitting still and not complaining when needed. He would ask politely for a break during long car rides, and then they could find the nearest ramp to pull off on so Adrien could stretch his legs a bit before they continued. Even at just five, he was _very_ polite and so _very_ smart.

Emilie allowed herself a brief moment of gloating. Sure, part it was luck that she had gotten such an _easy_ child, but there was a lot of gentle guidance and teaching that had gone into it too. She had sat out of several international trips with Gabriel to stay home with Adrien when he was younger, using the time to teach him how to tell adults what he wanted without complaining. It had worked- Adrien was a _very_ smart child- and it had prepared Adrien for when he did go along on the trips.

Not too many, though. He would appreciate them more when he was older and even with the perfect child, having to pack for him now was such a hassle.

"Did you pack a car bag?" Emma asked Carlotta. "My kids were always fussy on road trips before, but ever since we started packing a bag for each of them with little games and treats they've been fine."

Carlotta let out a heavy sigh. "We did! It was cut back a little, of course, because of space, but there were still plenty of activities for them to do. It's just that they're both more interested in activities that involve running around at their age."

"Well, did you ever stop to let them run around for a bit?" Emilie asked, leaning forward to pluck another cucumber sandwich triangle off of the tray in the middle of the table. "Gabriel and I do that with Adrien, and it tires him out enough that he's willing to sit still for a bit longer."

"Maybe we'll stop more next time," Carlotta acknowledged as Emilie demolished the tiny sandwich in two bites. "We were trying to get from point A to point B as fast as we could to have more time there, you know? But if stopping for a bit every couple hours means less _whining_ , it'll be worth it. It's enough to drive anyone up the wall!"

"Have you and Gabriel changed your minds about letting Adrien go to school?" Emma asked Emilie, changing the subject before they could get too deep into recollections of whiny kids during car trips. "I could recommend a school, if you're concerned about the quality of education. We're sending both Walter and Lucas to a private school near us. It'll cost more than public school for sure, but we only want the best for them."

"The public schools in this area are fabulous as well," Rebecca pointed out. Her face was pinched with annoyance, probably because she didn't appreciate the reminder that the majority of the rest of the group was really well off and could easily afford a private school or private tutor, while she and her husband were both solidly middle-class and didn't exactly want to spend unnecessarily. "And it's really a waste to pay for private school for such young kids."

Emilie only smiled politely and responded before Emma could snap back with her oft-repeated list of reasons for sending kids to private schools. "We'll be sticking with our original plan of homeschooling Adrien. I enjoy being able to spend more time with him and then we can alter the coursework to fit Adrien's needs better." Actually, the coursework wasn't their main concern- their primary worry was, of course, security, but she wasn't exactly sure how to say that without sounding somewhat paranoid.

(They had their reasons to be paranoid, of course, but they weren't exactly things that could be shared with just anyone.)

"But you'll reconsider when Adrien is older, of course?" Sarah asked. She plucked a small sandwich triangle off of the plate as she leaned forward to address Emilie. "It's very important for social development, you know."

"We'll plan playdates," Emilie said, turning her attention back to the plate of sandwiches. There were a few left with chicken in them, so she snagged one. She'd have to remember to ask Zoe's chef for the recipe, because she would _love_ to have the sandwiches again. Gabriel would probably love the chicken sandwiches.

...Adrien, not so much. He probably wouldn't like the sauce on it, and he had shown a definite distaste for smelly cheeses in the past.

"That's not the same as seeing other kids every day!" Sarah argued. "Emilie, I'm sure you could spend plenty of time with Adrien before and after school and at lunch. It's good for them to spend some time away from their parents-"

"Adrien is being homeschooled," Emilie said sharply, hoping to bring an end to the conversation. "That's what Gabriel and I decided, and we are not going to reconsider."

"It'll work well with your and Gabriel's travels well," Zoe pointed out. "Adrien can go with you without having to miss school or having a live-in nanny. He travels well too, doesn't he?"

"He does," Emilie acknowledged. "I don't know how much he would get out of the trips, but he does travel well. And Gabriel wants to get him started on a few activities as well, and we can make his schedule so much more flexible to allow for that with homeschooling."

Carlotta blinked. "Activities? What kind of activities can a five-year-old _possibly_ get involved in?"

"Your daughter started ballet at age tree," Zoe pointed out with a little laugh. "Mine started soccer at six. I'm sure there's plenty of activities out there for five-year-olds."

"Gabriel wants Adrien to do karate and piano to start," Emilie told Carlotta. "The piano was really Adrien's idea, actually. He loves watching me play and even last year he was trying to poke out songs on our piano. It was cute, but.." She winced a little at the memory. "...lessons will be helpful, to say the least. He currently has a talent for picking out the most discordant notes."

Everyone laughed at that.

There was a clatter by the door, and all of the women stopped laughing to glance over. Moments later, Adrien ran in, green eyes wide. He paused, scanning the room, and then made a beeline right for Emilie. He came to a stop beside her chair and tugged at her arm, looking up with her with big eyes. Emilie was about to bend down and ask what was wrong when Adrien spoke up in his sweet little voice. "Mama, Walter said-"

What followed was a string of probably every single word that Emilie had hoped to never hear from her child, plus a few words she didn't even _know_. She blinked, stunned, as the jaws of everyone around the table _dropped_. With her mind blank from shock, the only thing she could think to say was " _What?_ "

So naturally, Adrien repeated himself.

Emilie just spluttered, utterly speechless.

"Thank you for telling us, Adrien," Rebecca said soothingly, though there was a hint of laughter in her voice. "He'll be punished accordingly. Now, do you want anything else before you go back to playing? Water, juice, a sandwich?"

Adrien shook his head, suddenly shy at being addressed by one of the other women. He held on to his mother's dress a moment longer before running off back into the other room. Once she was gone, most of the other women started giggling. The only people still quiet were Emilie and Emma, who was Walter's mother. After a moment, Emilie found her voice.

"Yes," Emilie said a bit sarcastically, turning back to the others. "Other kids are a _fantastic_ influence on Adrien, I can tell already."

Emma was bright red. Rebecca was trying to hide her giggles. Before anyone could say anything more, Emma dashed out of the room. Seconds later, they heard her calling for her son. After a moment more, Zoe let out a snort.

"That was _amazing_ ," she cackled. "I never, ever thought that we would _ever_ hear Adrien say anything like that. And when he repeated it? _Classic_."

Emilie wasn't so amused. Sure, maybe the fact that Adrien had misunderstood her taken-aback " _What?_ " was funny, but the fact that Adrien now _knew_ those words enough to repeat them _twice_ was very much _not._ She could only hope that his good training would keep him from repeating the words again before he could forget them.

* * *

Their get-together had gone on for an hour more before the remaining part of the group left. Emma had taken both Walter and Lucas and left right after Adrien had come in, but the rest of the women had stayed to give their kids more time to play together. Emmet, who was friends with the now-disgraced Walter, came in to the adult room ten minutes after his friend was dragged out and spent the rest of the time sulking around because he didn't want to play with the "little kids".

(Emilie thought that he needed to reevaluate his perception of "little kids", considering that he really wasn't that old himself, but maybe that was just the residual annoyance from Walter's swearing in front of Adrien speaking.)

Adrien chattered happily about the games they had played as he and Emilie were driven back to Agreste Manor. They had apparently had a _very_ good game of hide-and-seek after Walter left, even though most of the kids weren't entirely solid on their counting abilities. Adrien made no further mention of Walter's less-than-appropriate words, which relieved Emilie. Hopefully he would forget about it completely by the time the week was out.

As soon as they arrived back at the house, Adrien dashed inside to tell his dad about the games they played before trotting back to his room to wash up for dinner. Emilie watched him go from the doorway.

"How was your get-together?" Gabriel inquired politely, stepping forward to press a brief kiss to her lips. His eyes surveyed her expression. "...not well?"

"Well, it was nice seeing all of the girls again," Emilie acknowledged. "And we had some _very_ nice conversations. But, well..." She paused, trying to decide what to say that _wouldn't_ send Gabriel on a rampage after her friend's bratty seven-year-old. "...let's just say that I learned that I need to find a _slightly_ different way of expressing shock when I'm in front of Adrien."

* * *

 _A/N: As with most of my stories, this is a one-shot and is therefore complete. Please review, it really makes my day!  
_

 _Small fun fact: this story was actually inspired by...me. When I was (a whole lot) younger, my brother went through this swearing phase, and apparently at one point he let loose a whole bunch of swear words at me. I, naturally, went and tattled on him to my mom. My mom did exactly what Adrien's did in the story and I (naturally) did exactly what Adrien did and repeated myself. She was not pleased._


End file.
